The true complexity of trying to live a simple life.

Simply said, I cannot possibly live a life filled with too much complexity. There are things I'd like to accomplish, things I'd like to achieve, things that I feel selfish enough to do anything for, and things that I feel I would sacrifice anything for regardless of the consequences. However, I also aspire to live life simply, without all the emotional luggage and feelings of justice and so forth that tend to prevent objects of beauty from reaching their full potential. Life is plenty complicated enough with already existing relationships to maintain, yet alone to go out there and find more and more people to meet and engage, and so lessen the quality of the time and effort we put into all our other current affiliations. How selfish creatures we can be...*sigh* Then again, that selfishness is usually what motivation for us to do better and to continue doing better, to expect more, and to feel alive.

I crave to lead a meaningful life, filled with all the issues and troubles, good and bad, to make it something worth living out to see the future for. To do that, we must want, and to want is to continue to have higher and higher expectations of life. So often do our simple expectations become such hungry beasts that we feel we deserve to reap all we deserve, yet such hungry beasts they are that we cannot feed and fulfil them. What do we get for our trouble? Either the sad, unhappy feeling that we are failures and that the world is rejecting us...OR, that we have yet to finish the work we have put in to get out rewards, and that the world is simply waiting for our answer. If so, patience and resilience is MY answer. I don't need a life complicated by petty and materialistic wants and needs, but I want to be DROWNED in all the tasks that would make life meaningful and unregrettable.

The saying that "We get what we give." and "If you want to gain something, you need to give something of equivalent cost." are things that we, as humans, instinctively know to be wrong. Feelings of injustice and dissatisfaction plague our minds when we don't understand why. Is it because we were too greedy by wanting more and more so that we can find meaning? Or is it that we alwasy feel we can do better...and better...and better. Maybe it's because that we are weak, weak creatures, amongst those of us who are strong who are willing to do what's necessary to get whatever they want. Afterall, isn't achieving our goals and thus satisfying ourselves the one differentiating factor between those who are successful, happy, content, and those who aren't? Isn't it the most distinguishing between people who live simply to live, and those who live to feel alive?

I get the feeling that a lot of the time, people are weak and unwilling to pay the cost to get the things they want, or are merely underestimating and misunderstanding the basis of their desire. Those who lack the ambition and strength to push on, knowing what they want and how they're going to obtain it, merely hold back those who do, and in doing so, prevent the progress of others by hindering them. The rest of the time, people are just confused about the basis and reason for their desire. Knowledge is powerful, but power can only be controlled with strength and passion, and when presented with too much knowledge, people tend to see more...options.

With more knowledge comes more options, options that not only confuse what the individual wants, but also causes the individual to not allow enough quality time and effort into making choices. Those with a deep understanding of knowledge know that knowledge is only useful with a bias, for knowledge with pure objectivity goes nowhere and is stagnating. Those with the deep understanding know that although it can represent all the different options that you may have, also understand that to progress, you must limit the amount of choices you have in spite of ALL the knowledge you have, lest the act of making a choice destroys the individual before an actually decision is made.

To have too much is sometimes as bad as having too little, where too much can lessen the extent of care and maintenance for each separate issue, and too little can simply dull and bore life. For that to happen would mean the lesser amount of time people can spend with those who make life meaningful and interesting simply masks how little you care about the possessions you currently have. The more you have, the more that you will have to leave behind everything else that you already have, as it wouldn't be possible to distribute all of one's self to a higher number of reliances. Hence, it is a rather fine line between wanting and having too much, and showing enough care and patience to the things you already have, while, at the same time, trying one's best to make life meaningful and eventful.

Man...just SO felt like saying that right now. Feels awesome, I feel good. Muahaha. Sleep time, night!