Life - Truth, knowledge and understanding

So...seems like another week has passed without much incident, though I must say it's been rather peaceful for the last few weeks, not that that's necesarily a good thing, seeing as I'm a creature that likes a little...stimulus here and there. Like plants that follow the sun with their leaves, I too need some sort of direction to aim towards, however, I recently gave up that stimulus and feel as if I've given up a lot more. Was it really so bad of me to let go of something which had kept me down for the last six years of my life? Do I really deserve this feeling of emptiness? It's not like I've given up hope or anything, I still have faith that one day things will be alright, but will that be through my own power? Or will it just happen suddenly, as these things often do? *sigh*...and on TOP of that, there's all this interesting yet avalanche-like amount of study to do, though I must say, it does put me in a position of greater perspective.

While looking at the inside of our miraculous minds, I seem to have once again been able to draw myself outside of this world and observe it through someone/something else's eyes. For those of you who've read the last of my MSN posts, you may find one of my methods there which me and my friends are willing to share. However, I no longer believe that I can condone such paths, though I have no right nor justice to stop you. It is through that method in the past that I was able to see past these seemingly important, yet insignificant barriers we place upon ourself; to pierce through the shield and armour that protects others and ourselves. *Just so you know, there's also a sword and steed, but that's for offensive and locomotive means, of which I may be likely to discuss at a later date, the whole analogy being that of a knight*

Having once again ascended to this greater perspective, I realised that this time I did not do so with the help of my anger and hatred, seeing as I let it go, to flutter away with the winds of fate. Instead, this time, I did so with complete void of emotion, which I concluded after much analysis, was the result of me letting go. It was not just the anger and hatred I let go, but also all other sense of emotion, leaving me with a greater sense of emptiness than I have ever felt before. Of course, according to Newton and some philosophers and religions, there should be some sort of trade-off. Sure enough, I found myself looking at the world anew, albeit with a different..."feeling" than before. I found that this time, instead of seeing a world of suffering and conflict, love and peace, I saw a great complexity the likes of which I've never seen before except in chaos theory (of which I'm an advocate, btw). This complexity revealed to me the true face of chaos and order, good and evil, life and death.

While we may scientifically and statistically prove that our lives are indeed meaningless in the cosmic grand scale, it would be blasphemy to say that our actions and consequences do not matter. When someone does inflict pain and suffering upon another, does Newton's 3rd Law not say that the antagonist should be subject to an equal and opposing reaction? Does one man who tries to change the world, for better or for worse, deserve the punishment for horrific outcomes despite his good intentions? And does the man who appropriates a beautiful and well-deserving outcome receive any reward? Is there any spiritual and metaphysical truth to Newton's 3rd Law? Is there any meaningful balance within the metaphysical and spiritual realms of humanity? Good and evil are but perspectives of which people will impose upon others, and not on themselves. What right, what power and what knowledge could we possibly have to be able to hold the divine right to judge someone else?

Chaos theory itself shows that even the most miniscule, most immeasurable amounts of change can affect the end outcome of a single event. We as a species are much too short-sighted to ever be able to see any event to it's end. What may be a great and selfless action one day, may be considered one of the most awful and tragic events in the future to come. If we ever wished that we could turn back time to undo something, did we ever think about the way that event shaped the world as it is now? People blame others for their suffering and pain, and yet, are they not masters of their own fate and destiny? Do they not possess some measure of power over their current condition and receive a portion of blame themselves? Life is so compex, so interconnected, so chaotic that we have no idea what will and what won't happen, which leaves us with the power of why. The question of why is one that will never be able to be answered while we're in this world, and while I may have some insights into that issue, that will also be discussed at a later date after I do more study about it.

So, get out there and do whatever you want, live however you want, and most important of all, FEEL however you want, for some say that we are only on this earth for short period of time, and to make the best of it is the greateset satisfaction a soul can endulge in. Never mind the conflict and suffering going on in the world, never mind the conflict and suffering of your own little world. Don't ever feel disheartened about your friend's suffering, or your own, for you know that there are much less trivial things in life. Empathise and sympathise NOT for those who have gone through a rough time, and do not hate or conspire against your enemies, for they are also of your world. True wisdom does not involve you to feel the way your friends would when they're down, but to KNOW. True understanding does not involve you to feel pity for anyone else. True knowledge does not mean for you to know what is RIGHT. If you see suffering and conflict in the world, then KNOW its true nature and triviality, and do your best to correct it without feeling, but with understanding. If you see your friends suffering, KNOW what it is they are going through, and without feeling, do your hearty best to cheer them up while understanding. The truth is, we are all connected in this world, and whether great or unfortunate things happen in this world, we are still one, and it is through THAT connection alone that we need not feel for our friends, or for the world, or for yourself, because we are ALL feeling it constantly.

Whether we realise it or not, and whether we recognise it or not is no issue, as the most important issue is that of our ACCEPTANCE. Acceptance that good and bad things will always happen, and that we can affect its outcome. Acceptance that although we may try our best to change the outcome, we may sometimes fail. Acceptance that the failure is natural and universal. Acceptance that the world is as it is, and that it is much better to bask in its ether that penetrates us all, than to fight it and ultimately lose. Acceptance that chaos will ultimately be victor, and to accept so with peace. Acceptance to take the the fight from the streets to within our hearts, and within our own little worlds. Acceptance that whether your friend is suffering or not, empathising and sympathising for them is not necessary, because you have already done so on a much greater level. Acceptance that you have a responsibility to them, to bring them up when they're down, to correct them when they are wrong, and, when absolutely necessary, to bring them down when they fly too close to the sun. Acceptance that no matter what we may believe, we have no power or right to judge and condemn another. Acceptance that there is truly no good or evil in this world, and acceptance that even if there is, it is much beyond our scope to ever comprehend or understand.

Now this is the burst of understanding and knowledge that I gained while observing this world from the "outside". From this, I have been able to comprehend that my emptiness is nothing more than a momentary vacuum created by my sudden expulsion of emotion that I have usually kept inside myself. Since emotion itself is a pretty nasty and volatile substance, it may simply be taking its time to sink into and take the place of my usually filled self. or may be stubborness on my behalf. Whatever the case, I guess I have a lot to think about...

Next time, I will reveal the second level in the heirarchy of the universe from my gaze upon this world, and will fully finish off the true analogy of the knight with his shield, armour, sword and steed, and explain to you their natures and purpose, that of which, is POWER.